> 1st off...cheers BEP's for all the posts through the years, as you ALL
> have helped me learn sooo much about the processes of what we all go
> through.
>
>
> I am a USC married to a Brit (finally) and have gone thru just as
> much as the next to get to where we are today. I met my husband 4
> years ago as this whole experience has been not only empowering but
> rewarding in the end. (People who has had the trials and
> tribulations will know what I mean).
> I had taken a seasonal job at the start of the year to make a
> couple of other ends meet until hubby got his EAD and my other biz
> picked back up. On hiring day...the employer asked me why I was
> taking the job as I already had one, and I proceeded to explain my
> situ about the I-864 guidelines and I believe that's when the
> 'frowns and opinions' started. At first, I didn't notice alot
> because of me being new and not really communicating on social
> levels. But as my personality came out abit more and weeks passed,
> we all became comfortable around each other and opening up abit.
> My husband would come visit me at my job at times & co-workers
> would visit with him in amasement of our relationship as far as how
> we met/married/etc, but negative comments would always come by way
> of the employer. He would make derogatory statements about
> cultural differences pertaining to him, ie: accent..the way he
> 'rolls a cig'..4 cups of tea a day. At first, my husband and I
> blew it off, thinking he was just a bit jeoulous..until we thought
> "how dare him ? he's not of American decent..either!" It got worst
> when he made a comment to him one time about 'not being able to
> find a women from his "own country" and "why did he have to come to
> the states, isn't his county bound enough to employ/live/marry. I
> made the comment back to him stating "this is the land of the
> Free..meaning we can live 'our lives' the way we want to..without
> being judged. The comments proceeded well into the months of
> employment..until I got to the point of reminding him that 'I' work
> here..not my husband, and to lay off the comments. He responded
> with "just remember who signs your paychecks that go to YOU & Your
> Immigrant husband". My attitude started to change as I had been
> coming home stressed and tired. I wasn't sleeping and it was
> effecting my work. I was pulled into the office by a manager about
> performance. Was asked what was taking a toll on me, but I was
> relectant to tell her..due to the fact that the 'owner' was my
> problem & I knew I wouldn't have any back-up. Needless to say...my
> husband asked me to quit due to stress..at that time he had gotten
> his EAD and was taking care of BOTH of us properly. Being a 'whistle-
> blower on a boss' is one thing...loosing a second income was
> another, even if it turned out at that time that 'my job' was our
> extras for rainy-days. My husband and I decided on a date for me
> to put in my two-weeks notice. Before the day came..I was pulled
> in after a shift (I believe I told someone I trustd of my
> intentions..and it leaked) and was instantly terminated. I live in
> a 'will to work state', but being always decent & trusting with my
> manager, I asked why the term and wasn't given any.
>
> Since then, I have not been able to sleep..eat..think, nothing. It's
> like I'm living in some kind of depression due to devastation. I
> believe it was unjust. There's alot more is in this dilima..but
> those are the basics. I believe in having a boss & I have nothing
> but the up-most respect for them. I'm not an insubordinant person,
> but I also believe in fairness, especially if they are
> disrespectfull to 'me or mine'. I have also talked to others from
> the job recently and found that he was that way with not just
> someone for another region of the world, but interracial
> relationships..as well. I wake at hours during the nights with
> nightmares of this. My husband has had enuff and as pleaded with me
> to just let it go & experice this as a stepping-stone in life and to
> just learn from it. Learn what ?! That ppl can just walk all over
> us 'just' because we 'choose' to be who we are ? I've talked also
> to a lawyer friend of mine & he has 'somehow' covinced me that 'i
> just cant let it go-because i havent receive any explaination..and
> to just go after him for 'pain & suffering'. *typical*
>
> ....ha ha, I laughed. but...what if ?
>
>
> If I'm venting..oh well. Overreacting...hmmm?
> But if anyone can slide me some help/advice/knowledge, I am
> grateful.
>
>
>
>
> ~ T's G ~
Are you sure that was the expression used, or could it be that the
manager said you live in an "at will" employment state? "At will"
basically means that absent an employment contract (or collective
bargaining agreement) which states to the contrary, an employer can
discharge an employee for any reason, or no reason at all and with or
without notice just as long as the discharge does not violate a law such
as the employment discrimination laws. Alternatively, under the
employment at will doctrine, an employee can also terminate the
employment relationship with or without notice.
Relax, it's not worth losing sleep over :)
--
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