> 1st off...cheers BEP's for all the posts through the years, as you ALL
> have helped me learn sooo much about the processes of what we all go
> through.
>
>
> I am a USC married to a Brit (finally) and have gone thru just as
> much as the next to get to where we are today. I met my husband 4
> years ago as this whole experience has been not only empowering but
> rewarding in the end. (People who has had the trials and
> tribulations will know what I mean).
> I had taken a seasonal job at the start of the year to make a
> couple of other ends meet until hubby got his EAD and my other biz
> picked back up. On hiring day...the employer asked me why I was
> taking the job as I already had one, and I proceeded to explain my
> situ about the I-864 guidelines and I believe that's when the
> 'frowns and opinions' started. At first, I didn't notice alot
> because of me being new and not really communicating on social
> levels. But as my personality came out abit more and weeks passed,
> we all became comfortable around each other and opening up abit.
> My husband would come visit me at my job at times & co-workers
> would visit with him in amasement of our relationship as far as how
> we met/married/etc, but negative comments would always come by way
> of the employer. He would make derogatory statements about
> cultural differences pertaining to him, ie: accent..the way he
> 'rolls a cig'..4 cups of tea a day. At first, my husband and I
> blew it off, thinking he was just a bit jeoulous..until we thought
> "how dare him ? he's not of American decent..either!" It got worst
> when he made a comment to him one time about 'not being able to
> find a women from his "own country" and "why did he have to come to
> the states, isn't his county bound enough to employ/live/marry. I
> made the comment back to him stating "this is the land of the
> Free..meaning we can live 'our lives' the way we want to..without
> being judged. The comments proceeded well into the months of
> employment..until I got to the point of reminding him that 'I' work
> here..not my husband, and to lay off the comments. He responded
> with "just remember who signs your paychecks that go to YOU & Your
> Immigrant husband". My attitude started to change as I had been
> coming home stressed and tired. I wasn't sleeping and it was
> effecting my work. I was pulled into the office by a manager about
> performance. Was asked what was taking a toll on me, but I was
> relectant to tell her..due to the fact that the 'owner' was my
> problem & I knew I wouldn't have any back-up. Needless to say...my
> husband asked me to quit due to stress..at that time he had gotten
> his EAD and was taking care of BOTH of us properly. Being a 'whistle-
> blower on a boss' is one thing...loosing a second income was
> another, even if it turned out at that time that 'my job' was our
> extras for rainy-days. My husband and I decided on a date for me
> to put in my two-weeks notice. Before the day came..I was pulled
> in after a shift (I believe I told someone I trustd of my
> intentions..and it leaked) and was instantly terminated. I live in
> a 'will to work state', but being always decent & trusting with my
> manager, I asked why the term and wasn't given any.
>
> Since then, I have not been able to sleep..eat..think, nothing. It's
> like I'm living in some kind of depression due to devastation. I
> believe it was unjust. There's alot more is in this dilima..but
> those are the basics. I believe in having a boss & I have nothing
> but the up-most respect for them. I'm not an insubordinant person,
> but I also believe in fairness, especially if they are
> disrespectfull to 'me or mine'. I have also talked to others from
> the job recently and found that he was that way with not just
> someone for another region of the world, but interracial
> relationships..as well. I wake at hours during the nights with
> nightmares of this. My husband has had enuff and as pleaded with me
> to just let it go & experice this as a stepping-stone in life and to
> just learn from it. Learn what ?! That ppl can just walk all over
> us 'just' because we 'choose' to be who we are ? I've talked also
> to a lawyer friend of mine & he has 'somehow' covinced me that 'i
> just cant let it go-because i havent receive any explaination..and
> to just go after him for 'pain & suffering'. *typical*
>
> ....ha ha, I laughed. but...what if ?
>
>
> If I'm venting..oh well. Overreacting...hmmm?
> But if anyone can slide me some help/advice/knowledge, I am
> grateful.
>
>
>
>
> ~ T's G ~
If what the other emplyees say is true, i.e. the guy is a twat, just
ignore it all and live your life knowing your ex-boss is far more
ignorant than you!
It's nothing worth losing sleep over.
--
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