It's good to see that nothing has changed, my last and final flight with air
india was punctuated by the sight of people picking their noses and wiping
what they found on the seats...the mist in the air you referred to is caused
by the fact that they only ever purchase 2nd hand aircraft, the door seals
are no longer functioning at full capacity so there is a fair bit of
freezing/environment controlled air mixture going on causing mist/water
vapour generated by heat exchange...that's how it was for me and the proof
was the hissing of the door we were next too and the rivulets of water
running/dripping across the ceiling. All in all, it was probably a good
flight.
"playful_banter" wrote in message
news:4240c17b.0406022044.2f131751@posting.google.com...
> I took Singapore Airlines to Singapore on a business
> trip, and thereafter, went to Bombay to check up on my
> parents. For the return flight to NY two days ago, I
> took Air India.
>
> In Air India, the terror starts in the very beginning
> and it never relents. The moment you walk in to an
> Air India plane, you notice the seats are the color of
> blood-stained puke; small, silly bright reddish
> flowers on a listless yellow background. I guess
> chocolate colored people sitting on these puke colored
> seats has a contrast appeal only the interior
> designers of Air India could think of.
>
> The plane is an ice-box complete with mists. I ask
> for blankets, they tell us they are out of blankets
> even though the plane capacity is barely 50 percent
> but they assure us that they are taking measures.
> Their solution is to deceptively offer us smoldering
> hot & spicy fritters which they think will warm us in
> the short term. And since there is no adequate amount
> of water on the plane to cool the scorched tongue, we
> will be duly distracted from the frigid cold. Focus
> within, not without.
>
> There is no sign on their toilets to let you know if
> it's occupied or not, and so you have to rudely twist
> the handle of the door and accidentally walk into
> squatting passengers. Even when it's apparent someone
> is in the bathroom, passengers love to keep on
> twisting the handle causing many crappers to leave
> gifts of brown trails on the toilet seat for the next
> consumer. After the fetid atmosphere in the toilet,
> you are welcomed to the nauseous smells in the plane
> caused by mucking around with environmental controls.
> Welcome to International Fragrances and Flavors.
>
> And how about those maps on the big screen that
> provide periodic updates on the geographical expanse
> between origin and destination by showing you how much
> distance has been covered. These maps are interspersed
> with a power point slide which says "These are
> physical maps only, Political Boundaries are not the
> object of these maps". Do these .ing morons
> actually think that the central concern of a passenger
> flying from Bombay to NY is the Line of Control
> between Pakistan and India?
>
> When the plane lands in Delhi, and in London, they
> renege on their promise to let you out to stretch or
> scratch, whatever your preference. Instead, some
> hooligans get on the plane and accost you with
> questions about your passport and boarding pass and
> your purpose in life (my response to them: not to be
> re-incarnated as you). My friends, this is a roach
> motel: you can get in, but you can't get out.
>
> I thought the madness would stop. But towards the end
> of the flight which is around 4 PM in NY, they
> inexplicably served us breakfast! When I saw the
> stewardess carting plates of croissants, I said quite
> audibly :" Ah yes, The Last Supper" . The steward
> didn't like that at all but the passengers tittered.
>
> When my neighbor ask for immigration forms, the plump
> stewardess glowers, "What do you want?". Feeling a
> need to interject, I said, "Your First Born, you
> bitch!"
>
> My neighbor has served for the Indian Army, he's got a
> monstrous handlebar moustache that I could swing from,
> he wears Rayman Aviator glasses from the 60s, he
> declares without provocation that his sinus problem
> causes him to wear a ski hat and a scarf "twenty four
> by seven". I almost want to ask him, Even when you
> make love? But then I look at the wife and she's got a
> permanent head kerchief. Obviously, these hoodlums
> love their hoods.
>
> If India and US really want to defuse the crisis over
> outsourcing, its time to make a deal: US outsources
> software engineering jobs to India, India lets
> Americans run their domestic and international
> airlines.
>
> I really feel I should be given upgrades on the next two flights.
> At the very least, I should be given a couple of goats.
>
> -Playful_Banter
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