I've highlighted the problem of .ual abuse of women trekkers by some
tour operators on my website. Information has reached me about the
attitude of a western travel agent married to one of these seemingly
trustworthy tour operators.
She appears to be in a very unfortunate position because of her
husband's misconduct. He is younger than her and has a lot of charisma
while she looks prematurely aged, which no doubt makes her feel
insecure. If she does the ethical thing and puts the well-being of
female trekkers first, she must fear he will leave her and she will
find herself alone. She stands to lose the money she has invested in
his business, the house she has bought in Kathmandu, and even her son
if he obtains custody.
She could deserve sympathy because of this predicament, except that
she is risking the well-being of other women, who are likely to be
charmed by her husband until they are in a situation where they become
prey. She has coped with the problem, not by facing up to it in an
ethical fashion, but by totally denying it, no doubt to win the
approval of her husband. In fact she flies into furies of denial.
However difficult her situation she goes too far, not only in
slandering the victims of her husband for standing up for their
rights, but in actually beating them up!
I would say to this woman: 'Your problems are made by your husband,
not by women who seek justice. Have the courage to face the fact that
you have made an unfortunate marriage and that you are behaving
stupidly by blaming the victims. Physical violence to abused women
only shames you and lying about the situation by defaming his victims
will not alter the truth.'
Perhaps, however, she has lost sight of the truth and has convinced
herself of her husband's blamelessness. We have all heard of wives of
serial criminals who swear by their husband's 'innocence' when found
guilty by a court of law. The wife of such a person must be the very
last person you believe regarding his actual guilt.
Helen Brown
freespirit@gn.apc.org
Nepal, Travel Trekking and Trafficking
http://freespirit.members.gn.apc.org/ |