Thus spake Nonnymus :
Boom ahbou with a bullet.
>ß wrote:
>> Have you lost your mind ?
>> Or are you nuckin' futs ?
>>
>> Why in the world would anyone sail on a freighter ?
>> Can't even imagine the service from the white gloved concierge !
>>
>> B.
>>
>B.- Mrs. Nonnymus and I mistakenly took a cruise on a Tuna
>boat, thinking it was the MS Celebration, last year. While
>there was a bit of a need to adapt to a Tuna boat instead of
>the cruise ship, we had a great time. I am reposting our
>experience in the hope that you can expand your horizons and
>include freighter and Tuna boat cruises in your vacation plans.
>
>Nonnymus
>
>
>My wife and I recently returned from an Alaskan cruise that
>turned out to be somewhat different from what we expected. I
>accept some of the responsibility for not having opened my
>confirmation or ticketing information that out travel agent
>sent. However, I still place a good deal of weight for the
>mistake on the agent.
>
>When we called the agent, we requested that he make
>reservations for the MS CELEBRATION, out of Vancouver. When
>we got to the pier and began filling out our forms, we
>discovered that he'd made reservations on the MS Salivation-
>a 93' tuna boat. It was quite a shock when we had to take
>yet another taxi from Canada Place and go to the fishing
>pier instead.
>
>The MS Salivation was tied up to the dock, taking on bait
>when we arrived. The wife was first to board. Since the
>ship had no gangway, they tied a rope under her arms and
>hoisted her aboard. It was windy that day, and the breeze
>let everyone see her bloomers. It was embarrassing for her,
>but she got to quickly know the crew, at least. I rode on a
>bait box onto the deck and we were shown to our stateroom by
>one of the engine crew. The Salivation only has one
>stateroom for guests, and it's located between the fish hold
>and engine room. Since the hold is iced down to reduce tuna
>spoilage, and the engine room is approximately 185f degrees
>during operation, the stateroom's temperature ranges from
>one wall being approximately 25f to the other being 185f. We
>found this very convenient during the few times we were
>permitted to sleep, since by choosing which hooks to place
>our hammocks on, we could adjust our temperatures accordingly.
>
>We were pleased to find that our travel agent had supplied
>us with a complimentary bottle of his favorite wine-
>Thunderbird Red and a delicious plate of Tuna and bread,
>with onion. He tells us that it's a favorite appetizer in
>Pennsylvania. The choice of wine was enhanced by its
>aluminum screw cap, since our traveling corkscrew had been
>confiscated from our luggage by TSA out of concern we might
>hijack a ship with it.
>
>Departure from the pier was scheduled to be at 3:00p, but
>our captain was still drunk from the previous evening and
>didn't arrive at the boat until Noon. I found it necessary
>to help out the crew in loading in ice and bait so we could
>depart before sunset, at least. This is a great time to
>leave Vancouver, since the winds are traditionally out of
>the West and pick up before sunset. This, coupled with the
>boat's speed and direction helps to blow away the smell of
>the slightly spoiled squid, used as tuna bait by the vessel
>during its week long excursion.
>
>As previously mentioned, our stateroom was located directly
>below the main deck, between the fish storage hold and the
>engine room. Access was by a straight ladder, carefully
>placed in the storage hold and tied off to a metal beam. The
>stateroom was decoratively painted in a dark brown color,
>which we later discovered was called "rust" by the crew.
>Besides a folding chair and card table, we had two
>generously sized hammocks, one blanket and a bath robe
>bearing the Holiday Inn logo. I inquired about towels and
>was told that since there were no shower or bath facilities
>aboard the vessel, they were not needed.
>
>The only complaint we had about the stateroom, was that
>lighting was quite poor. There were no windows, so all we
>had was a 15 watt bulb hanging from the ceiling. I brought
>this to the attention of our steward (who also was the
>primary hook baiter when fishing) and he replaced it with a
>more generous 60 watt bulb. He explained that the stateroom
>we had was primarily used for squid bait storage, so a
>larger bulb wasn't necessary. However, since our travel
>agent had booked it for our Alaskan excursion, they were
>storing the squid on deck in 55 gallon barrels for this
>trip. That also explained the salty, nautical "air" we had
>noticed in the stateroom upon arrival.
>
>Dinner that evening was on deck, and quite festive. The
>crew had placed a sheet of plywood over two squid barrels,
>covered it with a checkered oilcloth and it became our
>table. . . table #1, in fact. Dinner consisted of Tuna,
>Wonder Bread and catsup. Because of our political beliefs,
>the crew removed the Heinz catsup at our request and
>replaced it with Hunt's, which we now prefer. My wife had
>her tuna blackened, while I had mine fried. Other choices
>were boiled, braised, breaded, raw, grilled, baked and
>roast. The bread and catsup were excellent accompaniments
>and the loaf of bread was sealed tightly between meals to
>prevent salt spray from softening it.
>
>Sleep the first night was a bit difficult, since the 93'
>boat encountered 85' waves. The hammocks were both a
>godsend and problem. The best part was that they permitted
>us to sway side-to-side as the boat rolled, and they could
>be adjusted toward the hot or cold stateroom walls for
>temperature control. The downside was that they were placed
>9' above the cabin floor, up toward the ceiling and we were
>continually pounded against the ceiling as the boat pitched
>and rolled in the 85' waves. During the night, I climbed up
>out of the fish storage hold and requested some additional
>rope to permit them to be lowered. The captain had sobered
>up some, and told me that the only rope on a ship was the
>rope for the ship's bell. Other than that, it was called a
>LINE. I then requested about 30' of LINE and was handed an
>entire skein of clothes line. That really helped to reduce
>the number of times we were banged against the ceiling and
>made climbing into our hammocks much easier, since they were
>closer to the stateroom's floor.
>
>I mentioned that the ship had no shower or bathing
>facilities. Our stateroom DID come equipped for our
>personal needs, however. Over in the corner was a 5 gallon
>drywall bucket, on which the ship's engineer had placed a
>toilet seat. It was quite convenient and could be scooted
>around to either the hot or cold wall for more comfort when
>in use. A few nights into our cruise, we did request that
>it be emptied on a daily basis, since it had a tendency to
>turn over during several of the storms we encountered. There
>was also a slight learning curve to using it, since the seat
>had a tendency to slide off- much to the distress of my wife.
>
>It was great being able to access both the engine
>compartment and bridge during the cruise. The captain had a
>bit of a drinking problem and after Happy Hour, which began
>about 1:00p, he would permit and even encourage anyone to
>take the helm. The Chief Engineer was a large gent named
>Mordo, who never seemed to leave the engine compartment. I
>asked the captain about this and was told that Mordo had his
>own hammock and 5 gallon bucket down below, and preferred
>the warm temperature and scents of his beloved engine
>compartment to the spray and breeze of above deck. Mordo
>was also concerned about several arrest warrants, and feared
>being spotted if he was on deck. It worked out well for the
>ship, since the crew would merely toss down some Tuna for
>Mordo to eat and occasionally haul his 5 gallon bucket out
>for dumping overboard in the Alaskan waters. My wife and I
>were offered a tour of the engine room, but respectfully
>declined.
>
>Since this was a Tuna boat, the entire 7-day Alaskan cruise
>had no ports of call. We were "at sea" the entire time. At
>first we had some concern about why this was called an
>Alaskan cruise, but the captain explained that we would be
>presented with a wooden train whistle that said, "Skagway
>Alaska," a polyester tee shirt saying, "Juneau Alaska" and a
>surprise Taiwan-made trinket bearing the Ketchikan moniker
>when we completed the cruise. We considered this, and felt
>that it adequately conveyed the Alaskan experience well
>enough that we were satisfied.
>
>During our days at sea, the captain hosted a daily contest
>called "Who can bait the most hooks?" We were placed on
>folding chairs on deck with a 55 gallon drum of warm squid
>beside us. At the count of 3, we began baiting hooks with
>the squid and after 8 hours, the person who had baited the
>most hooks won a prize. During the first three days of the
>cruise, I easily won. However, as the squid "softened" in
>the warm barrels, my wife's greater dexterity prevailed and
>she began winning. She also reported that the combination
>of "squid squeezings" and squid water from the barrels did
>wonders for her hands. The MS Salivation had no spa, so
>this was their substitute for Steiner's. It also saved us
>quite a bit of money that would have ordinarily been spent
>at another ship's spa.
>
>Meals aboard the Salivation were generally informal, with
>only one formal evening. Breakfast consisted of Tuna, bread
>and catsup (Hunt's). Lunch was Tuna, bread and catsup
>(Hunt's). Dinner was at 5:00p sharp, immediately following
>the hook baiting contest, and consisted of Tuna, bread and
>catsup (Hunt's). There was one exception to this, however,
> During the first breakfast of the cruise, we were offered
>the choice of Tuna, bread and catsup (Hunt') or Calamari,
>bread and catsup (Hunt's), Since the squid was not chilled,
>it would have not been a good idea to have selected Calamari
>following the first day of the cruise.
>
>As previously mentioned, meals were served on deck at our
>squid barrel and plywood table. During formal night, the
>captain joined us on deck and we found our tablecloth had
>changed magically to a barely soiled furniture pad cleverly
>labeled, "North American Van Lines." This was quite nice
>and when soaked with spray, prevented the paper plates from
>scooting around as the ship pitched and rolled in the waves.
> The captain had his own beverage, which he drank from a
>hip flask, but he presented us with a second bottle of wine
>from his private stock. Unlike the Thunderbird Red given us
>by our travel agent, this wine had a genuine synthetic CORK.
> We asked that it be chilled, so the steward placed it into
>the Tuna hold for a few minutes. Since the ship had no
>corkscrew, we were forced to break the bottle's neck off. We
>filtered the wine through our steward's a tee shirt, and it
>was delicious- having a salty, fishy flavor.
>
>Dinner that evening consisted of Tuna, bread and catsup
>(Hunt's), which was served by our steward. For formal
>night, he washed both his good hand and the one with only a
>thumb on it, and also changed into a fresh tee shirt and
>boxer shorts.
>
>Our Alaskan Cruise's success was naturally measured in part
>by the number of Tuna caught. In the 7 days we were aboard
>the MS Salivation, over 1500 tuna were hooked, brought
>aboard and gutted. We were offered a choice of whether we
>wished to participate in the Hook Baiting contest or its
>Tuna Gutting alternative, but both chose the Hook Baiting
>for its simplicity. It was a vacation, you understand. I
>have to admit that by the time we finished our cruise that
>we would have become quite handy with the gutting knife.
>However, the prize for winning a gutting contest was that we
>could keep the knife, and we realized that despite its
>sentimental value, TSA would confiscate it at the airport.
>
>Our ship returned to the fish dock in Vancouver at 1:00a,
>but we could not disembark until the Tuna had been off
>loaded. This was accomplished by 5:00a and we were
>permitted to go ashore. I rode ashore in one of the empty
>squid barrels from the deck. The captain and crew were all
>on deck to wish us well and possibly to see a rerun of my
>wife's bloomers, as she was hoisted ashore. She has a great
>sense of humor and since she realized that they were all
>standing there to see her bloomers, she played a trick on
>them and didn't wear any that morning.
>
>In all, our Alaskan Cruise was somewhat different from what
>we had expected aboard a Carnival ship. As mentioned
>earlier, I blame myself as much as the travel agent, since I
>never opened the cruise ticket package until we were at the
>docks. However, we salvaged what we could of our vacation
>and made the most of what we were handed. The MS Salivation
>is a bit small for cruising Alaskan waters with 85' waves,
>and being the only paying passengers aboard the ship has
>both benefit and drawback. On one hand, we had the full
>attention of our steward when he wasn't placing squid on
>hooks, but we missed having other passengers to visit with
>while competing in the daily squid baiting contest. With
>the whistle, tee shirt and trinkets given us at the end of
>the cruise, we felt we really didn't miss much of the
>Alaskan experience, but it would have been fun to at least
>go ashore once to see a Totem Pole or visit the Red Dog or
>Red Onion saloons.
>
--
dillon
I didn't climb to the top of the
food chain to become a vegetarian. |