Subject: Re: English in Europe

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Subject: Re: English in Europe

Posted on: Tue, 23 Oct 2007 13:14:38 BST

"Alan S" wrote in message
news:hghrh31tab8jd2n0ik5pfkg7cdhuiokkdn@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:42:23 -0700, Souf Efriken
> wrote:
>
> >The European Comission has has just announced an agreement whereby
> >English will be the official language of the European Union rather
> >than German, which was the other possibility.
> >
> >As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
> >English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
> >year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English. "
> >
> >In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
> >make the sivil servants jump with joy.
> >
> >The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
> >konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
> >
> >There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> >troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
> >fotograf 20% shorter.
> >
> >In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
> >to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
> >
> >Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
> >always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
> >
> >Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
> >is disgrasful and it should go away.
> >
> >By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
> >with "z" and "w"with "v".
> >
> >During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
> >kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
> >riten styl.
> >
> >Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> >understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
> >
> >Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
> >ze forst pla s.
> >
> >If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
>
> Not a bad variation on Meihem In Ce Klasrum, first published
> by Dolton Edwards in 1946.
>
> For those interested:
> http://members..../VoxVideus/meihem.html
>

And, I believe, suggestions from Shaw before that.

Surreyman

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